Friday, February 24, 2012

I play magic.

I play Magic
The gathering, as I believe I have stated before on several occasions.

Here are some pictures. Nothing too interesting I just wanted to get some pictures uploaded to this site.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


Ok so SEX. Sex. I will admit. I am 17. I will be 18 this year, and I’ve only had sex twice. With two people. WITH TWO WOMEN. Sorry. Not just people. The first time was about 7 months ago at a party. This party was fuckin awesome, in the bedrooms the girl had little bowls on the nightstands filled with glow in the dark condoms. (ok well there were only three rooms, but that’s good enough.) the fourth room belonged to her little brother and that would just be wrong. So. Parents out. Huge house party, lasted till one before the cops got called and everyone fled the scene. I don’t normally run so im out of shape but I have long legs and I was scared shitless so I got the fuck oout of there pretty damn quick. But ehhherrrmm. Yeah. High School party, everyone was drinking so was I. I was a leeeetle drunk that night so I can say I don’t remember much of it. My first time. The girls name was becka annd I think she was related to jaba the hut. Also she was nutty or something because she just kinda fuckin pounced on me and was like gurgling and growling “PENIS IN MY VAGINA”. . . “RAWWWWWEERRRRR”. So we had sex.
The girl? Erm. . . she was hot. Wellllllllll basically hot. Her name was Becka. I don’t know anything else about her. And yeah I guess she was just “first time hot.” Never saw her again. Used a condom, so she cant rape me for child support. Sure she was fat and maybe a bit sweaty. DOESN’T MATTER HAD SEX.
Now the second time I had sex was one month laster in late September. I had outdoor gym class with this really hot girl whose name was summer. She had brown hair and wore bright red spankies, THE WHOLE SEMESTER.  She even went so far as to put her hair in pigtail ribbons and wear knee high socks. She just did what all the other volley girls did, but 10 times better. She wasn’t very funy, she wasn’t very smart, but she thought I was cute and I told her I wrote her a poem and that was it. She was sold. We never dated, we went to the mall a few times as friends and then I drove her home one day and she told me to come inside. I, being an idiot had no clue and asked her why and she said “ I want you to tell me another poem.”  And so while I being such the Shakespearian master grand funky love pimp that I am recited her some love poems while she much to my astonished amazement undressed on her bed in the corner opposite me. Lets just say I didn’t make it very far before I was all over her. The most intense thing was because she sat me down and said, ok tell me something romantic.  And she sat all on her knees on the bed smiling slightly and watching at me with such a vixen stare that my eyes were glued to hers. And then never looking away from me once she slowly started to slip out of her clothes.

Only I knew she was staring right at my eyes so I knew she would know if I looked at her breasts or her lovely lady parts and I felt IDIOTICALLY unsure of how she wanted me to react in the situation so I kinda just stumbled with things. But eventually instinct kicked in and everything was put into place. And ohhhhh she had those sexy little tan lines from her bikini. I die for tan lines. Idky.
We started out me on top. Things were going good. . . for a bit. . . But then because I’m so goddamned skinny and weak My arms got really tired, and I was in missionary position, so I mean for all male readers out there I’m sure you know that can be tiring. So I didn’t want to look like an idiot, so I say. “ I want to feel closer to you” so then I lay on my elbows and put more weight on her chest. Which probably wasn’t fair. And it didn’t work really well either because soon she was kinda getting out of the swing of things and making these difficult faces, so I freaked out and didn’t want her to start like giving out on me or anything so I tell her “why don’t you get on top, so I can see your curves” Now I know that’s a bit awkward but you gotta admit Im smooth. She eagerly was willing to switch sides with me and then I didn’t have to do as much work, and I know she had more control over sex so things could go her way. And no one ever had to know I was a weak little bitch. The sex was awesome I felt like running around and screaming and singing afterwards.
So those are my sexual experiences. Its probably illegal for a minor to write about sex in a public blog isn’t it? Oh well, I’m going to hell any way.

That was six months ago and I would really like it if I could have sex again, only not just a onetime thing this time. I think I would really like to be in a relationship first. I think I’m bored with sex with strangers.  


So today I drank some coffee. Listened to music. The sky looked really awesome. This weather sucked but the clouds we get from it are pretty rad. I have nothing better to do but write. I got a letter from this pretty cute scene chick today. Scene chicks really confuse the fuck out of me with their odd choice in appearances sometimes but don’t worry, this one’s good. And By good I mean she doesn’t look like the reincarnated Amy Winehouse.  . . and by good I mean she doesn’t look like shes smuggling squirrels or raccoons in her hair. This girl is great. I see her sometimes in the library and she’ll write funny comments in all the text books, kiss marks in bright red lipstick on the back cover. Draw Hitler mustaches on all the people. Handle bar ones on the children. She does that, bright red lipstick thing. Why I don’t know. But for some reason I think it’s really hot. Other than that I don’t know much about her. She kinda gives me . . . you know, that look sometimes. I’m not sure but I think we went to middle school together. Any way. She gave me this note and pretty much it said that our idiot teacher can’t teach her a damn thing. And she was wondering if I could call her to explain to her today’s lesson if I have the time. Little did she know I wasn’t paying attention to a damn thing that man said?  but, uh, I’m pretty sure she wants my nuts ;D

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Drunk day was (as always) success.

smoke alarm in hallway went off. All is well. no one heard it. opened window. everythin is good. 

Final challenge of Drinking Day is deciding what tastes better- 
Wine in a glass
or right out of the bottle.

what do you think?

Drinking DAY!

I love how when your drunk all you have to do is tilt your head and you enter a new world. tonight after drinking day began I called over my best friend Allen.

Hes one year older then me. My mother loves him. hes her highschool best friends son. Ive known him for as long as ive known Queenie. But hes always been a year older then me. almost two if your counting in months. which means hes always felt like i'm some sort of imbecile.

I know hes supposed to be my friend but I kind of always feel like hes the bighgest fuck of a person Ive ever met. he sucks mega cock. I feel like he must thinknhes better then me. he geos to a nice school.blonde (short)... (meaning GAY) hair. Wears ambercrombie and smokes cigars while he walks through crocker park like he thinks hes some sort of fucking bad ass. really all he needs is a good fuck. but who am I to point fingers. Any way, hes my best friend and I hate his guts XD

I started drinking day's actual drinking at 5. What decent person would drink before 5? besides thats all the time I need to finish my chemistry homework and get into my english paper. /i kinda hate english. Nothing can be accomplished from english accept for story telling. Thats what im doing right now. And i suck balls at life. so .... storytelling is officialy pointless. there is no such thing as hero any more.

I came home and opened my bottle of wine. Its 13 proof 750 ML of dark red wine. (and as always some vodka, which (by now) I am far into. I plan on drinking all the wine. the whole bottle. And i plan on having three or four shots of vodka (diluted.) Its hard for me to get drunk. I think its because my grandmother was an alcoholic.  Idk. I settle into my room. I diont ave much in my room. probably because Im so boring. A desk for homework and my lap top and a few posters. A closet where my dresser is and a futon. a few posters fall on the walls. the room is still kinda empty. but im not materialistic. I dont spend my money on things. only gass and dinner occasionally and alcohol once a week. and cards too. but thats not expensive unless your an idiot

my parents and my older sister (32) buy me clothes. So shut the blinds and turn off the celing lights. then I pop in a beasty boys CD open the vodka and pour myself a shot of vodka in a glass. i add monster to it. drink three more identical concotions down. and jam to the music. pop open my bottle of wine.

this week the other is dark red wine. by the time I'm into the wine i feel pretty good. i wrote my last entire blog.
I fucking love wine. I dont want to sound like a pussy fuck but really its great. so stingy and somethign I can drink that will really make me alert. Beer is good for movies. But wine is good for other things. music and blogg writing. I suppose. :) I like that i feel like a bloggg writer now.

Any way. My lips are stained purple from this lovely god send wine. nothing expensve 8 bucks. beastie boys blaring. Im on my third glass and feeling pretty good. Ive decided now is a good time to re group my magic the gathering deck. once its perfected and the beasty boys CD goes silent. I pop in some Bush and call allen. Ready to whoop his ass at magic and share some wine inreturn for his cigars his mohter doesnt know he has and my mother doesnt know I smoke. Still. Bad ass. think about it? card game dim lamp light and cigar smoke? wine? gotta love it.

Today is drinking day!

Ok so I know I lead an extradinarioly boring life. I know I dont do anything at all. And thats why I drink I suppose. I like drinking alone. I dont generaly like social situations and I dont get invited to enough parties to do my drinking at parties. Besides which, when Im with a bunch of people and I'm drunk I usualy act like an asshole. (but who doesnt?)

I am only 17 and I drink. No one can trace me through the internet and arrest me any way im sure. My parents dont know I driunk. That wouldnt go over well. Could I get arrested for taling about this online? Really what are the rules in regards to that. If a 17 year old tells a cop, last weekend I was drunk as fuck but I have no proof. What would the cop say?

I dont know. someone tell me.

so yes! drinking day! drinking day usualy happens about once a week. right after school i head to one of those conveniant stores in down town (cleveland) because that is where I live.) And then (on a good day) I just walk right up and purchase my schnalk. he gives me what ever  ask for and they never Id. I'm so goddamned tall they probably assume i am an adult. i dunno. I am skinny though. so maybe not. But I dont know if that has anythign to do with it. I am around 6 foot 6 so no one ever questions me really. And then After i get what i want he charges me and i pay and i put it in my back pack and i leave. (its almost alway an old dude. he doesnt speak english)

I was thinking that maybe he does in fact know how old I am because some days when he feels like it he charges me twice as much as he should. I never argue because duh im a minor. But its only whenever he feels like it.

Now on a bad day Which is when there are more then no people there, I have to wait for some homeles fucker to walk by.(don't feel badfor me though because in cleveland that doesnt take too long) I give him thirty and tell him he can keep fifteen if he gets me my shit. (i'm generous to them homeless ya see) only because I know they are probably drunks themselvs and i like helpin people out. I'd be a drunk too. Nuthing better to do.

I'm not too nice though. because I tell them if they
steal my money ill pound their face in. I say they can help me or not. no stealing. (sorry if this is especialy corny i am drunkish. not really though. drinking day has only just begun.) too buzzed to give a fuck about my typos though. Cloud nine now bitches. What did i just say?


the above

a threat
a lapse in concentration
an honest question to get me back to the point

now. the homeless guys have never stolen my money. probably because if im wearing the right clothes no one can tell how bone thin i am. I look giant if a baggy hoodie hides all the bonyness. they probably think ill actually do something. But fuck that id run like a bitch. I am such a mother fucking coward. Id never start join or even stop a fight. And thank god Ive never been shot. stabbed. or anyhting. My poor mother would probably cry her eyes out if she knew the transactions that were happening once a week after school. Queenie would kill me. But queenie shouldnt talk becuase she smokes from time to time. pot and tobacco. I dont smoke anything, I dont need fucking cancer. My life already sucks as it is. I dont want to sound like a weezy bandersnatch. what?


so thats how I get my schnalk. i always get 40 proof vodka and then something else. i mix it up. this week its wine.

Drinking day is one of my favorites. after I get my shit i drive home. and go straight to my room. I'm a moody teenager so my parents leave me alone. I shove my progress report under the door and tell them I'm depressed and then they go away. satisfied with my straigh A's.

Yeah bitch. All honors. all a's. yall can just suck it.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


I totally just slapped a calculator's cover onto it that's supposed to slide on without sliding it on. What up.

Friday, February 10, 2012

My name is, What?

About my name. My full name is Jackson ****** Jean. (yeah you nosy little internet troll monkeys you’ll never know my goddamned middle name, if you even so much as ask I’ll be sure tie your shoelaces together while you’re sitting here commenting, so you know… you fall when you get up.) C’mon people keep up!  Was that a fail? Yes I’d say so. 

As I was saying. Ehm Ehm Ehm. . . My Name Is Jackson Jean but This girl I grew up with started calling me Jackie jean because it kinda sounds like Jackie chan. You see now? I’m sure you read my blog title (for all you millions of followers out there) and thought … “hmmmmm… that sounds familiar “ its because if you’ve ever liked 80’s ninja whatnot movies you’ve probably heard those wonderfully alliterative sounds. And no that was not a stab at their language that was a remark at Jackie Chans Prolific chinaman martial arts fighting movies. And if any of the above was incorrect please don't scold me. I’m not really that worldly of a man. The biggest city ive been to was Cleveland. I only go on family vacations to boring places so my immediate family can culture shock the hell out of me as they introduce me to distant relatives and the weird and wacky ways they all live. I usually just hide in the back of the station wagon. So...........

I kind of like my name. Jackson that is. Jackie is all right too, but no one calls me Jackie except for queenie, and even her calling me that irked the hell out of me until one horrifying day I actually felt comfortable with the name and without realizing it answered to her ostentatious calling down the hall. She likes to scream at me from random locations when I don’t have a clue where she is. Takes me forever to find her most of the time because she’ll be like miles away screamin and she won’t stop until she knows I see her. I know what most of you are thinking, you’d probably kill her if you were in my shoes, but I’ve known her literally since birth. Our moms are best friends and I just can’t seem to shake her. She’s just ALWAYS there. Her real name isn’t actually Queenie. That would be stupid. Horrible decision on her parent’s part if that were the case. No, I gave her that name sometime around the age of 10 or 11 or so when I got sick of her hollering out JACKIE! Her first name is actually Elizabeth. I called her Queen Elizabeth. then eventually queen and Queenie and occasionally Quinn. Her middle name heh heh, which I will post on here because it will bug the hell out of her, is Petra. It’s German ? right? She has a second middle name for her grandmother, and OBVIOUSLY a last name but I’m not posting it because I don’t need any angry calls from her father when 50 random people start creepin on her Facebook. She has one of those. I don’t. Because I suppose I think Facebook is evil and social networking in general is largely narcissistic. But look at where I am. What the hypocrite. But it’s not like anyone’s reading any way.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hello blogging community.

I just thought of two alterations that would make the above title that much more interesting, and perhaps even enhance the level of interest I have in my situation at the moment as well. One is "hello blogging commune" 

but not like community, instead a hippy commune full of tents and vagabonds, poker and accordion players alike.

The second one was "hello Flogging community. . . Which, I mean, I don't know about you but Id love to be a part of that community. s and m and what not. ;D

Sooooooooooooooooo. This be me blog I sup’ose. Rargh and Argh and all that. I guess I like talking like a pirate. Not enough to keep it up though eh? Hmm… That sounded like a horrible sexual innuendo. I really would love to get the horrific images of captain hooks dissapointed face out and far away from my imagination.

Great Scott this is probably the most lame blog ever written. But no one is going to look any way. And I’m used to being lame. That’s pretty much All I’ve ever been for the longest time. Lame. Right, right! I Know I sound like the emo teen poster child, and you’d be surprised, I look the part too. 
But I’m dead serious.  Im not asking anyone to take pity on me. I’m simply admitting to exactly how boring I truly am. I have nothing to do. AT ALL. Not a god damned single thing. So I wandered around the inter webs after a long adventurous exploration of all the blogs on here ive realized that I might fit right in. With myself being boring and what not. Now this might offend some people (but no one’s reading the crap I write any way right?) so I don’t really give a damn, aha. I mean come on bloggers, Take a look at yourselves. Or should I say ourselves now, Since now Ive joined your ranks. Still. I certainly don’t care about the day in day out crap you post on here every day.
“I cooked a GREAT pumpkin pie yesterday!!! Here’s the recipe! :D” no no no thank you. 

There are thousands of blogs on here and there all pretty much people just yakking about the shit they do every day. Or how they’ve overcome some sort of mediocre obstacle, like realizing what a jerk they were in high school, or losing 30 pounds after having a baby. I know I don’t care about your kid, and I don’t really want to see a picture of his snaggle tooth face all up close on my computer screen. I don’t care HOW cute your daughter looks as a baby in the bath, I promise you, When shes 16 she’s going to wanna chop your head off woman!

         But I suppose it’s like what my friend Queenie said,
she says a blog is like some ones diary and their brave enough to post it online to share with friends and family and the world then you should treat their braveness with respect. That’s queenie for you tho. Always saying even the smallest simple thing is “brave”.  But who am I to judge?

I am boring too. And most of those mothers and mediocre goal achievers have something I truly don’t. A sense of accomplishment. They feel they’re really doing something. I won’t ever have that. Because all I do all day long is nothing. Listen to music; float around Cleveland like a ghost. Visit Tower City and hide from the wretched ghetto youths that have managed to stay in school long enough to still torment me all the way up to my junior year. I can’t believe I made it this long. No I’m not a sissy. I’m not whining, complaining that I get the shit beat out of me far too many times. but its not the physical crap that gets me  ITS THE GODDAMNED MUSIC! Ill take the beatings anyday over Flocka wacka what ever the fucka! I don’t really care about that. I’m not a lover but I’m not a fighter either. I guueesssss I'm the quiet guy who shrugs it off. Im far  too tall for many of them to even manage to knock me down any way. they kinda just bump into me. Its hilariously awkward.

These teens are simply just too damn annoying. That’s all. They all think they’re going to be millionaires, focusing on their “rapping careers” instead of life choices. I’ll be surprised if they make it to college with their kind of focus. But again, who am I to judge? I might get good grades, but I don’t really have a plan. I’ll probably stay at home, be happy if I even manage to get myself to Tri C. kind of feel much more like sleeping for a year and then figuring out what I’d be good at. Most likely nothing. So here I am internet. Adding my words to all the other crap that seems to have accumulated here.