Friday, March 23, 2012

Life has been so boring.

School feels like it is almost done but its not.
Its funny because I'm actually smart. No one will think this. because I post about drinking so much but I swear I am.
i think so god damned much. It gets in the way. everythign becomes a mesurement, a formula a statistic.

When i drink I can enjoy the crazy ruckus or "poetic" side of life.
I can just fucking relax, or get crazy if I want to.

Rarely get crazy. I'm not exacly invited anywhere. And I prefer to drink alone or in small groups.

My parents HAVE to suspect something. But I just scored 33 on the ACT.

They congradulate me and ignore my ... youthfull impulses. alcohol. I'm sure if i were smoking pot (which I don't do) They would flip the fuck out.

theyd deliver me to the juvinille. seriously.

But I know that would only slow things down, give me more time to think. That's not what I want right now. And besides itss much easier to get caught doing something stupid like that.          

" a cool white whine for a cool black girl"

Ill give 5 bucks to who ever can name the movie.


So. Schools great. Everyones asking me about weather or not I'm going to do my senior year. I dont. have to technically. i have already passed everything. Queenie is going. So I'm probably going to go. I dont know.

I'm not basing my life around Queenie. But might as well just take it easey for a year and Queenie makes the whole thing better. Elizabeth (Queenie) smokes pot. Not too much. But she does. I dont know wether to be worried or not. I think not. Fuck her and let her deal with it. aha. Probably better for her then the things I do to myself.

Allen came over again. He insisted we go out back and mess around with baseball and Bat. See how for we coudl hit that sort of crap. Hes such an ass. Why the hell would anyone  .... well just TWO people, not even enough to play a full base ball game,"mess around" with ball and bat for two hours. I complied because I thought he would get off my back.

So that girrrrllll. a while back. The one who gave me a note in school.

Turns out she didnt want my nuts.
she actually wanted homework help.

So weve been texting. It will only be a matter of time before she does.
Want my nuts that is.

I dont know when the next drinking Day will be.

I'm trying to take it slow for my mothers sake.

I feel like a rotton child taking advantage of them in little ways like this.

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